A Beautiful Mess

   It has been quite a while since I wrote anything and while no one else missed that, I did, and it took me by surprise as I hadn’t expected to miss my petty ramblings!

   Things have changed quite a bit around here as our home has got brighter with the birth of our daughter last month. Schedules are crazy and while we are having to re learn how to gently slip on a onesie over a wobbly head, our smiles are bigger and our hearts fuller and are grateful for all the love that has come our way.

   Our little one sleeps better than what her brother used to and that means we are less sleep deprived and have tad bit more energy during the day. And while (on most days) that lets me make all kinds of plans, it rarely reaches the point of fulfillment. I get so excited right after I put the little one down for her nap thinking about the two very long hours that I am about to have to do what ever I feel like (since I have been blessed with parents who are here and are leaving no stone unturned to make my life comfortable…they cook everyday, keeping in mind my favorite things and they keep their grandson occupied all day long with games and songs, reading and writing too and I cannot begin to describe how immensely helpful that is). And then reality strikes. A typical two hour window is generally some sort of a variation of this-

   On way to getting my laptop or a book that I have thinking about finishing, I see a pile of clothes in the laundry basket that is about to tip over with the weight of the clothes. So I decide to quickly put them in the washer before sitting down with the coffee. Once the clothes are in the washer and I go to the kitchen to warm up the coffee, I notice a couple of baby bottles that need to be washed before being sterilized and I think to myself… ‘ I will quickly rinse these while the coffee is in the microwave’ and I do that. As I sit down with my coffee and am about to pick up the book, I remember a bill that needed to be paid a week ago and so I quickly grab my purse and dial the number and get going with the process! And while I am doing that I remember five things that need to be added to the grocery list that the good man has taken with him to the office. That entails a call and as soon as I hang up, I see the state of mess our coffee table is in…unopened mails, coloring books, a box spilling with crayons, nasal spray, some pieces of a puzzle, a bowl of crackers, sanitizing wipes, a couple of books my dad was reading (or had planned to read), two broken phones (that my son currently ‘uses’ as his own) and my mom’s too (who invariable picks up one of the broken ones thinking it to be her own..the similarity is uncanny and so I don’t blame her!)…and I lose it a little bit. I sit myself down on the sofa to clean up the mess a little bit and ask my dad to reheat my coffee one more time. I glance at the clock and realize I have time for a good shower and dash into the bathroom while Baba hollers about the coffee that has been heated three times. I holler back that I would be back before it cools down and all the hollering wakes up the little one who had, till then been sleeping peacefully in her swing. I stop to comfort her and after a good 15-20 mins when she has settled down, I remember the clothes had to be put into the dryer and it was time for me to pick up my son from his school. I slip into the clothes that hang at the back of the bathroom door, grab the car keys and rush out of the door while I hear Baba holler again… ‘what about the coffee?”

   I am beyond thankful for this beautiful mess at the moment and while my ‘plans’ often remain just that, I find myself beaming. It is stressful too, to have an infant and an almost 4 year old (who, by the way, has exceeded our expectations of him as a “big brother”, exemplifying maturity, love and understanding even I had no idea he was capable of- we underestimate amazing things that little ones are capable of) but it is a learning experience too and it is a time to soak in this love that is unparalleled and unique. As I look around this delightful chaos, I notice how toy trucks and guitar picks things have quietly made room for new rattles and a plush kitty and my super messy closet has some small pink hangers in the middle of lots of greens and blues.

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