I have been missing from my own happy and calm place- taking pictures and scribbling- for the past few weeks. I am more anxious and restless as a result and I don’t really like this ‘me’! Sometimes life gets crazy and replying to simple emails seems like a task and the two hour ‘me’ window that generally is allotted for rants and rambles gets filled with Netflix, leading to more restlessness! We all have been/are part of such cycles that leave us in a flux at times, won’t you say? How do you deal with it?
I sometimes wish I could go out to places a couple of times a week at least that would let me take photos to my heart’s content and teach me things. Instead, days get filled with the mundane and this fanciful notion takes a backseat. While my heart is thankful for all that I have and I feel blessed for my family, especially my little ones, at times a tiny something feels missing from this perfect setting. I wonder if this is the feeling of a stay at home mom and I also wonder if it’s okay to feel this way. A part of me wants to work, wants to put my degrees to some use, wants to be able to give back to society, wants to be a role model for the tiny humans we are trying to raise. I know of parents who would give anything to be able to stay at home,watching their kids grow – roll on the floor with them, make sandwiches with funny faces for lunch and just be silly in the middle of the day! And I am grateful,every single day, to be able to do that. But at the same time, the urge to go to work does not seem to go away. This sort of dichotomy between the ‘what- one- has’ and ‘what- one- wants’ is nothing new and never has an easy solution! Neither does mine. Sometimes we give in to situations and fail to navigate around. And sometimes we find a middle ground or choose a path and stick to that no matter what.
I have been perturbed for the past few days and I know I will be again in the future! But for now, I am choosing to not sink in the ‘have- nots’ but embrace the ‘haves’ and when the time is right, choose a path that will hopefully ease those pangs of uneasiness.
Have a good week and thanks for stopping by!
bitsandpieces 
It sounds like you are yearning for some intellectual stimulation, Moon yet are feeling the fatigue of constant vigilance of children. It is a phase I recognized too. I went amd did some voluntary work for a hour or so to keep me sane. Later it extended to one day of work – paid. That worked for me. You just have re think and plan your time ahead. Easy to say, harder to do. All the best.
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You are absolutely right, Amanda. The struggle is real and sometimes it feels that there should be more. I too have been thinking about voluntary work for some time and I think it’s time to act on that thought. I am so thankful for your kind words…you are a kind soul.
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Aw. Thank you. I feel that you are a kind soul, also. Although our worlds are very different, there is a connection here in the blogosphere. It is great to know you! Good luck with voluntary work. I found it so wonderful for personal development and fostering that sense of accomplishment.
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Thank you so much…and yes there is a wonderful connection in this blogosphere and I am truly happy and humbled to be a part of this. I am looking forward to starting the voluntary work…i am both excited and a tad bit nervous but I am hoping it will work out!
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Where are you going to be working as a volunteer?
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Hi Amanda! I am so sorry it has taken me this long to reply…I have not been that regular with the bog and have a lot of catch up with. I have a couple of options but I am leaning towards a non profit that works towards women’s empowerment…I am yet to finalize on the date that I begin…but it will be next month 🙂 How have you been?
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I am well, Moon. Very busy with children moving out atm. So I understand you not be online much. All good.
Your non-profit sounds really great – a good social justice project. You must tell me more about it.
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